


Remembering and Realization

by Abitfairytailforme



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-21
Updated: 2016-05-21
Packaged: 2018-06-09 20:59:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6923176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abitfairytailforme/pseuds/Abitfairytailforme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Casey sometimes feels guilty over what happened with Charlie and Olivia listens to her, but what will come out during one of these talks?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Remembering and Realization

**Author's Note:**

> For starters, I'm sorry for any grammatical errors. Next, I want to apologize if I got facts about schizophrenia wrong, I'm going off of internet searches. I also want to apologize if anything said in the fic clashes with facts from the show.
> 
> That said... 
> 
> I hope that you enjoy and let me know what you think!

Casey took a drink of her beer, which has long since gone warm, but she drinks from it deeply anyway.

  


“It wasn’t your fault, Casey. You had to save yourself.” Olivia tells her. Olivia knows that the redhead sometimes gets overwhelmed with her guilt of what happened to Charlie and Olivia told her to come to her whenever she needed to talk.

  


“But I loved him. I loved him more than I thought possible and I left. He’s dead now and he might’ve been okay if I had stayed with him longer.”

  


“What good would that have done?” Olivia asks, gently rubbing the distraught woman’s back.

  


“I don’t know!” Casey suddenly stopped crying. She wiped away her tears, laughed, then hiccuped. 

  


“The first time I met him was in our law class. He just plopped himself down next to me without asking. I asked him if had even thought about the possibility that I would want to sit alone or had someone coming to sit next to me and he just replied nope in a smug voice.” Casey laughed bitterly.

  


“He sat next to me everyday. We became good friends. One day, when we were hanging out on the campus grounds, he told me that I was beautiful, but he cared more about a person’s personality, then he kissed me. When he pulled away, he told me that my personality was more captivating than Cleopatra's beauty ever was”

  


“He sounded like a good man.” Olivia said, listening. She took a sip from her scotch. “Tell me more.”

  


“We were both busy, naturally being law students, but we would meet up in this old abandoned classroom. The building didn’t have an elevator so I climbed 10 flights of stairs a day to see him. Fridays and Saturdays we’d always go out and Liv, he took me to the most spectacular places. I loved him alot and when he proposed to me he didn’t make a big deal. He said, what’s the point of going to someplace beautiful when I have beauty in front of me? Then he got down on one knee and I said yes before he even a chance to ask. Everything about that relationship was different.”

  


“How so?” Olivia asked. She could see that remembering the good parts of Charlie was helping her. Casey took a drink, pondering, before answering.

  


“Just, everything. We joked, he respected me and I respected him. He didn’t take me to the fanciest restaurants, instead finding the ones with the best people and food. We didn’t see cheesy horror films, instead going to see documentaries. The conversation between us never ended. When I was around him, I was never bored, Liv. That’s why I took it so hard when I finally admitted that something was wrong with him.”

  


“I know, it’s never easy to admit that someone you love has a problem.” Casey nodded.

  


“Some nights, he was still the loving Charlie I knew, but more often he was withdrawn or aggressive or confused. I hated when he came at me in his aggression, but the worst was his memory loss and mental confusion. I remember one night he thought that I was someone put here to spy on him and he demanded I get out of the house. That hurt more than anything, Liv. It really did.”

  


“I know, Casey, but don’t dwell on that. Remember the Charlie that called you beautiful, the Charlie that took you out to small restaurants where the food is good and the people are nice. The ones that sat through documentaries with you and the one you never got bored with. It wasn’t his fault, what happened to him, so just remember the best parts.”

  


“Yeah. I do that most of the time. He really was a good man.”

  


They sat in silence for a couple of minutes, taking small sips from their drinks and just thinking.

  


“Thank you, Liv.”

  


“For what?”

  


“For listening. I really want to move on from him, but it’s hard, you know? I’ve had relationships since him, but it’s never been the same.” Casey paused and Olivia didn’t know what to say, so she just stayed quiet.

  


“I think, I don’t want the same relationship again. I want someone, who respects me and loves me, like he did, but I don’t want someone exactly like him. I want someone like you, Liv.”

  


Olivia’s jaw dropped and she had to consciously think to close her mouth. Casey scooted closer and kissed Olivia, soft and sweet, not demanding at all. When she pulled away, she immediately apologized.

  


“Oh my god, Liv. I’m sorry. I was never supposed to do that.”

  


“No, it’s okay. It was nice, it’s just, are you sure?”

  


“About what?”

  


“That you aren’t doing this just because you’re a little tipsy and…”

  


“Am not tipsy, thank you very much. This is my first beer and it’s only half empty.” Casey shook the bottle to make her point clear.

  


“Okay, fine, not tipsy, but you’re really nostalgic about Charlie.”

  


“Liv, I really didn’t mean for it to come out after one of these talks, but I’ve liked you pretty much since when I first meet you and I’ve been ready to move on for so long.”

  


“But, but, I was awful to you when we first met!” 

  


“Yeah, and I kinda liked you for it. You had spunk! Plus, I’d heard about Alex and how close you two were.” Olivia nodded. “I do like you, Liv, I’ve liked you since I met you.” Olivia moved closer, only a few inches separating them.

  


“I did too, I just didn’t think you liked women, especially after you told me about Charlie.” Casey laughed.

  


“You got it wrong. I don’t like men, that’s how special he was. Liv, if you don’t want to do whatever this is, I’ll stop, but I don’t want you to think I can’t handle it because of Charlie, because I can.”

  


“I know you can, Sweetheart, you’re strong.” Casey smiled at the pet name Liv had already given her. She kissed her again, and this time Olivia put her hands in Casey’s pale amber locks, deepening the kiss. She could taste Casey’s beer and underneath it she can taste something else, a taste distinctly Casey. Casey’s hands fall to the detectives hips, pulling her closer still until there isn’t any space between their two bodies.

  


“Well, that was nice.” Olivia says, when they break apart for breath, their foreheads touching.

  


“Let’s try it again sometime.” Casey says, smiling, before recapturing the brunettes lips. Casey feels her arousal rising each minute that passes and when they pull away, she thinks she might have oxygen deprivation because the noise level in the bar has gone way down. Casey tears her eyes away from the deep-chocolate ones that are looking intensely at her to get some kind of a hint at what killed the music and chatter.

  


When Casey looks up she sees nearly the whole bar looking at the two gorgeous women, who, not just half a minute ago, were making out quite intensely.

  


“Um, Liv?” Casey whispered, knowing that the detective hadn’t looked in that direction yet.

  


“What’s up?”

  


“You might want to turn around.” Olivia did, her jaw dropping for the second time that night when she saw the scene in front of her.

  


“Seriously guys?” Most of the guys looked embarrassed, moving back to their drinks and starting up the music again. However, a few guys still watched them.

  


“I think we’ve been caught.” One of the random guys ‘whispered’ to his buddy.

  


“Aw, shucks. It was just getting good too.” Casey rolled her eyes, deciding it’s best not to stay here any longer.

  


“Come on, Olivia. My apartment’s not far.”

  


“Hmmm. Sounds nice. I’ve already paid for the drinks, so let's get outta here.”

  


Casey nods, grabbing the detective’s hand and they walk out of the bar. As the door swings shut she can hear on of the guys shouting after them, “What? No encore?”

  
Walking down the street, Olivia’s hand in hers, the future looking bright, she realized that she couldn’t have cared less.


End file.
